I knew what this meant when I said it nine years ago. now I know what it feels like.

yesterday Eva and I took part in the wedding of two of our good friends. sometimes it’s difficult to engage in the event when you’re the usher or matron of honor, but by God’s grace the Spirit stopped me straight, caught my ear, and pricked my heart.

"…for richer or poorer…" we’ve been without income. we’ve landed windfalls. within a 4-week period our car died, tuition soared, and $5,000 in medical bills swooped into our life. now we’re buying a house. we’ve been fed by ravens. we’ve eaten at The French Room.

"…in sickness and in health…" finances will always fluctuate. surprise. what did surprise me yesterday was the steady sweetness of my wife. ten months ago, I underwent the life-changing trauma of back surgery. this after three years of battling the pain with conservative methods. Eva endured it all as much as I did.

it’s really hard to put in words what I experienced emotionally as I listened to the vows being read and repeated in our little church. I’m not going to even attempt poetic prose here. what I felt was more than, "Eva nursed me back to health." anyone can do that. she loved me back to health. she suffered with me. cried with me. prayed for me. she was there. steady. sure. encouraging. when I could do nothing for her, she did everything for me. even now as I write this the tears blur my vision. it’s knowing that I’m not alone. that someone knows me - and still loves me. that someone stood by me and for me. no matter the cost to her.

so, this is what God meant. I’m only beginning to see.

"…’til death do us part."

many will recognize these digits as LOST’s inanimate (?) dementors. they sweep over, around, and through the lush landscape, forcefully yet methodically sucking the life out of the survivors. the numbers are a lottery of sorts, but one you furiously calculate against.

while knowing the curse coursing through these interesting integers, I still tried to bank on them. yep. I bought a lottery ticket with this exact sequence.

as I walked back from supporting the local 7-11, I came across a good friend of mine traversing the campus. this excursion was utterly atypical for me. I never walk off campus as far as the 7-11, and I never walk on the sidewalk where I met Mark. we’re talking 1:1,000,000 odds.

Mark and I shared a brief conversation and quickly realized we each knew something the other person ought to know. within a few weeks, he joined Team Admissions.

I didn’t win the lottery that day, but Dallas Seminary did. thanks, Lord, for the greater gifts…Lynsey, Janet, Malory, Jerry, Sarita, Sharifa, Alan, Lisa McD, LisaT, Arthur, Sandy, Limei, Eric, John, Lenita, and always, Papa Hatt. treasures.

a good word. and the intro ad is worth the price of admission.